I have finally left Thailand & am back on the picadilly line. I fully intended to write a blog last night about the excellent markets and the lovely purchases I have. I managed to find 2 uses for an umbrella which means I no longer hate them alongside divan beds but oh no that post was wiped out of the window as soon as I arrived at BKK airport aka the smiley airport. That is their words not mine & I think they might have been pulling a joke as I do not recall any smiley that night.
So I arrive with 4 hours to spare, this is so I can bag an extra leg room seat. I'm a little bit worried about this flight due to the three bites on my legs being full of infection, blood and bruising. I feel a bit worried about DVT so measure the bruising, swelling & everything. There is no emergency exit but I manage to get an extra leg room seat. This is also without showing the legs. Bloody miracle I say.
So happy with my seat I set off for the two things an airport needs. Now what do you think this could be? Some of you will be coffee/duty free? I am afraid you are wrong, airports only need plugs & wifi. In Singapore the whole airport has free wifi or hundred of free computers for Internet. Everywhere you look are plugs....Bangkok however has 4 plugs in the entire departure lounge....4!!!! Are you serious!!! Then for wifi I can access the free one so I look for a computer to pay.....none!! I ask at the information desk of the smiley airport remember. I meet two miserable Thai women, they look like bulldogs chewing wasps but anyway with my biggest smile for the smiley airport I ask:
Sawandeeka! Do you have free wifi? [big smile]
No! It broke!
They return to looking at their nails with their dog rough faces. I am like seriously??? I thought this place was smiley.
So I head for food after scanning the wifi available places, I head to a very expensive restaurant but I have bahts to burn so it's ok. Before I eat I ask the same question as above. This Poe faced old witch says ask at information. So I left and thought I did ask those cows but they were not listening to the airports KPIs.....I saw no smiles.
As we know I am sometimes determined so I head back with a smile Dame M would be proud of, I change the question:
Sawandeeka! Is there a computer I can access my emails on.
Old cow number 2 says only on level 2. Cue duchy lemon face, so I turn away without thank yous. I mean why are these witches miserable, they are not escorts for muddled aged Europeans, I saw no ping pings flying around the room or boy bits being tucked inside.....you silly stuck up educated cows are getting by without the sex trade & the look on your face is worse than the poor girl we saw being told to wait outside McD for 3 hours whilst her English Curbcrawler meets his mate for some beer. Now she had a reason to be sad but you tits just need to smile. Anyway I take said advice from said tarts and head to level 2. As I hit the escalator I just know it's not right. There is no up escalator and no shops and signs everywhere saying transfer. Ooops!! So I need to transfer to my original flight from the same airport. I join the que and explain: I get told by a lady who did smile (or fart, not sure which) I can come through security but I must give my water in which I bought 5 minutes before upstairs in the same airport.
It's my only choice so I gave her the water and set off again through security. I then passed a free computer on level 4 by the witches on my way to my gate.....well if the thought of spending a night in Bangkok hilton was a option I would have gone all English on her. Instead as a grown up I quickly checked facebooke and boarded my plane. For once I am grateful of heathrow terminal 3 and the miserable staff & old ladies who beat you for their cases. IRS sure better than tucktuvks, dengue fever, the brad Pitts and linguine people.
Glad to be home but loved hanging out with NY mayors fir 3 weeks.
Kent here I come.
Sunday, 8 January 2012
Bye Bye Bangkok
Today is my last day in Bangkok & Thailand. I woke up this morning and feel much better I am still a little bit Ropey but much better. Therefore we got up today and went to the Chatuchak weekend markets. We have not done any shopping yet and needed gifts for all my little cherubs. We could have booked a tour for 150 baht each but that would be too easy and also £3 tours are waaaaaaay too expensive. So we took the boat from Phra Arthit to Saphan Taskin for 15 baht (3 pence) and then got on the skytrain to Mo Chit for 40 baht (8 pence). BOOM!!
We shopped until we dropped & got everything we needed and now we are enjoying tuna salads in a free wifi cafe.
On the 3pence boat home I realised what idiots holiday makers really can be. We saw a cruise ship offering a river cruise to see the sights. I have no idea howuch this costs but it must be 150 baht at least. We have been on our commuter boat 6x and we have seen the Grand Palace, temple of the dawn, memorial bridge and the posh hotels at dawn, mid day, dusk & lit up for night. I think Bangkok has been so easy to travel around because of my amazing map. Even "the traveller" who is too damn cool for a map or lonely planet refers to it and puts it in his pocket. I believe he is equally in love with the laminated pages.
After 5 days in Bangkok I will tell you it is too many, eventually you come to feel disgusted at old European men buying a week with a Thai beauty. We all know you paid so why look smug. You are vile, the women you bought looked fed up, miserable by your offerings of frankfurter sausages, lager and man united matches. I know all these ladies have a story & they need it bit after 5 days I would rather not see it.
To conclude I have enjoyed Thailand, I do not think it's a country for me but I had some great moments. Here they come in no particular order:
Getting a new friend: Olga
TonSai beach
Diving at Ko Ha
Diving through a chimney
Climbing over the cliffs after swimming through the water at night
The taxi rides on Ko Muk
Ko Muk
New Years day morning
Xmas day with Ben & Olgas travel buddies
And obviously the best thing:
My Groovy laminated map of Bangkok. It's amazing.
The things I liked the least
1: the dirty Spanish women who abandoned her kids for 3 hours to get some boom boom. We looked after them all night & paid the food bill
2: mosquito bits
3: the looky looky men of Bangkok
4: the 10 kilos I can see on ever photo. Here comes operation kill the chubs.
My NY resolution: shift the lard.
Only 1.5 hours left in Bangkok before the airport. See you all Monday morning xxx
We shopped until we dropped & got everything we needed and now we are enjoying tuna salads in a free wifi cafe.
On the 3pence boat home I realised what idiots holiday makers really can be. We saw a cruise ship offering a river cruise to see the sights. I have no idea howuch this costs but it must be 150 baht at least. We have been on our commuter boat 6x and we have seen the Grand Palace, temple of the dawn, memorial bridge and the posh hotels at dawn, mid day, dusk & lit up for night. I think Bangkok has been so easy to travel around because of my amazing map. Even "the traveller" who is too damn cool for a map or lonely planet refers to it and puts it in his pocket. I believe he is equally in love with the laminated pages.
After 5 days in Bangkok I will tell you it is too many, eventually you come to feel disgusted at old European men buying a week with a Thai beauty. We all know you paid so why look smug. You are vile, the women you bought looked fed up, miserable by your offerings of frankfurter sausages, lager and man united matches. I know all these ladies have a story & they need it bit after 5 days I would rather not see it.
To conclude I have enjoyed Thailand, I do not think it's a country for me but I had some great moments. Here they come in no particular order:
Getting a new friend: Olga
TonSai beach
Diving at Ko Ha
Diving through a chimney
Climbing over the cliffs after swimming through the water at night
The taxi rides on Ko Muk
Ko Muk
New Years day morning
Xmas day with Ben & Olgas travel buddies
And obviously the best thing:
My Groovy laminated map of Bangkok. It's amazing.
The things I liked the least
1: the dirty Spanish women who abandoned her kids for 3 hours to get some boom boom. We looked after them all night & paid the food bill
2: mosquito bits
3: the looky looky men of Bangkok
4: the 10 kilos I can see on ever photo. Here comes operation kill the chubs.
My NY resolution: shift the lard.
Only 1.5 hours left in Bangkok before the airport. See you all Monday morning xxx
Sickness :-(
After a few days in Bangkok we woke up with the intension of going to the weekend markets but I woke up ill. I know you are thinking I must have a changover but no I was proper sick. I had an upset tummy but I'll spare the details, dizzy, sickness, fever, can't eat. I felt dreadful. I have clearly diagnosed myself with Dengue Fever from all my mosquito bites & infections and when I read the symptoms in the lonely planet I had them all. I read the treatment and there is none. I also know my friend ended up in hospital from it so I must admit I was scared. I dosed myself with paracetomol from Dr Olgas kit. That's better for dengue than ibroprufen. I drank loads of water & didnt eat. I could not face the market or being anywhere near the Koa San road so we consulted the amazing laminated map and found a park miles away & headed there. The grass in this park was so spongy that I fell asleep for about 1 hour, it was more comfy than our 150 baht bed (£3 a night). I woke up and still felt sick and we followed the map to an area of Bangkok called Sian Square which was a market just for Thai people not a tourist in sight. Perfect. I kept drinking water & when we got home I consulted Dr Olga medical kit & found rehydration salts. So once again she saves the day even from England. After an early night, drinking loads of water I feel better. :-)
Thank you Dr Olga xxxxxxx. We miss you xxxx
Thank you Dr Olga xxxxxxx. We miss you xxxx
Friday, 6 January 2012
Hangover "The Trilogy"
Yesterday was our first day without Olga, this is terrible for several reasons. The first is Ben misses her so he is a little lost, I miss her so I am a little lost, Olga had the plan so we are both a little lost. In her absence we have decided to get more lost in Bangkok and we head to China Town. I am sure you are all aware I love maps, I love to know where I am in relation to home, UK, Accommodation and North so I purchase for a few 200 bahts a glossy groovy map. Now this map has cost more than my accommodation and food so it better be good. Clearly the laminated pages are a turn on so I am happy also you can fold it out into the small area you need so I am not holding an A1 sheet of paper which screams I AM A TOURIST PLEASE SCAM ME FOR YOU TUCKTUCK RIDES & TELLING ME THE TEMPLE IS SHUT. Clearly these tourist touts have no idea I have no culture so I could not give a crickets arse if I see inside one. After China I am all templed and budda out so I am happy for no culture for the rest of myy life. Bring on Australia my friend. x
So we set off map in hand to find the ferry to take us to China town, approximatly 600 tucktuck drivers ask to take us on a tour for 20 baht. This means come in my tucktuck I will take you to my friends shop, we will look big and menacing until you buy a truck load of shit you do not want and then we leave you there and do not take you home unless you pay 70 baht. Luckily for us the scouser taught us a song which goes like this:
"do do do, do der dum! we don't need yout tucktuck tonight" so this got sung a few times on this morning. Well we finally find the ferry and a single ticket costs how much.........yes you heard me 15baht!! BOOOM! About 30 pence.
"do do do, do der dum! we don't need yout tucktuck tonight" in your face!!!
So china town food markets were ace, we have photos of food you would never want to eat. I think we ate some as one chicken on sticks we ate were guts [chunder tastic] then we ate rubber fruit with textures that should not be describe on here. After not getting lost at all we head back to Kao san Road to book a cookery course so we can become experts in our own Pad Thai. The course was booked and we had an hours break from each other. In this time Ben was in charge of internet and sorting out his mobile, I was in charge of finding the laudry. In the process of doing so I found a secret street. Now living in Brighton you always avoid the neon streets and head into the lanes for a real night out so in Bangkok I figure you do the same. Off I went to my secret alley..it was awsome, there are tatoo parlours [no I didn't get one but nearly], piercing places [no Ben didn't get one but nearly] and a non motorbike club rasta bar. Now everything was telling me Sue and Richard will kill me if I go here but I felt drawn by its magic. So off I went and found my friend and took him to the secret street.
I will digress for a moment but come back to this bar. I need to set the atmosphere for the evening now we were both Olga Sick, we haven't had a massive night out for 2 days, we were in Bangkok where the Hangover 2 apparently was filmed so we decided to have a beer and a chat about life since we parted company in August. Now Ben and myself enjoy extreme sports, Ben has done several bungy jumps and I think 7 in one day, he has jumped out of a plane and we dive and I am mental on my voodoo cream so we needed some extreeme sports. NOOOOOOOOOOOO I am not talking about Thai Boxing, anyone can beat someone up in a ring. We are having a night out on the Kao San Road. Take the worst street in your city, the one which sell neon goods, wristbands, punching bart simpsons. Yes my friend we are in Thailands version of Benidorm. The only difference is the Drunk English are buying their sex life from LadyBodys, LadyGirls or anyone who says yes. Now here is our story.
We head to the non motorcycle club rasta bar and ordered out of habit 2 changs. Should we be alarmed that the lady asked what we wanted to smoke with our beers. Ben told her we did not smoke and we only drink changs. This is something you need to be careful of if you smoke non nicotine smokes (luckily we do neither). The Thai police are a little corupt and they ask people to sell drugs to tourists, then they bust the tourist and offer them a night in the Bangkok Hilton or you pay them ASAP/NOW 70000 baht about 1200 pounds. They walk you to the cash machine to get it. Luckily we do not so we do not need to worry.
On the way to our next venue we are asked for the 900th time:
"you like pingpong show" "pop pop"
This is a common question afetr 7pm on this strip of land so tonight when we heard:
looky looky man: "you like pingpong show" "pop pop"
Ben: "No sorry, I don't like sports"
Then after 2 changs we head for dinner number 1 and order a few more changs and listen to live music just off the Koa San Road. The Koa San road is vile so you would be crazy to drinmk there. It is full of european idiots and buckets and kids and it is just gross. Ben and myself are not idiots so we drank in a bar with live music. After x amount of changs we start to talk about getting tatts, living your life to the full and going with the flow. This reminds us of our dear friend Olga who had to go home, Ben and Olga got matching tatooes which say something similar to go with the flow. Throughout the trip if our plans changed we shouted go with the flow and they waves their arms in the air to show the artwork. I am clearly a coward and do not wat a tatoo so we did the next best thing, we drew it on with pen. Of course not the Thai writing, good old fashioned engligh. GO WITH THE FLOW. It was in the same place as there and we went with the flow in celebration of the third component of the shampoo whi was sitting in a cold, wet london :-((((((
Then we got beer hungry and had dinner number 2, followed by a kebab on the way home and somehow I do not know how......we ended up in the bar which sold VERY STRONG BUCKETS for very little bahts and then the party started. We ended up singing, dancing and wearing new wristbands but luckily for us our dancing was outstripped by a russian pair. There is a video but having a few problems uploading.
This made for Dehli Belly this morning X2 and a very eventful cookery lesson. We made 7 dishes and they were delicious, I never want to eat again thou and feel a little fat and sick at the thought. So here we are stuck in an air conditioned internet room avoiding food, changs and party. I guess the statement about being a grown up applies to the UK only and I will start in 2 days.
So we set off map in hand to find the ferry to take us to China town, approximatly 600 tucktuck drivers ask to take us on a tour for 20 baht. This means come in my tucktuck I will take you to my friends shop, we will look big and menacing until you buy a truck load of shit you do not want and then we leave you there and do not take you home unless you pay 70 baht. Luckily for us the scouser taught us a song which goes like this:
"do do do, do der dum! we don't need yout tucktuck tonight" so this got sung a few times on this morning. Well we finally find the ferry and a single ticket costs how much.........yes you heard me 15baht!! BOOOM! About 30 pence.
"do do do, do der dum! we don't need yout tucktuck tonight" in your face!!!
So china town food markets were ace, we have photos of food you would never want to eat. I think we ate some as one chicken on sticks we ate were guts [chunder tastic] then we ate rubber fruit with textures that should not be describe on here. After not getting lost at all we head back to Kao san Road to book a cookery course so we can become experts in our own Pad Thai. The course was booked and we had an hours break from each other. In this time Ben was in charge of internet and sorting out his mobile, I was in charge of finding the laudry. In the process of doing so I found a secret street. Now living in Brighton you always avoid the neon streets and head into the lanes for a real night out so in Bangkok I figure you do the same. Off I went to my secret alley..it was awsome, there are tatoo parlours [no I didn't get one but nearly], piercing places [no Ben didn't get one but nearly] and a non motorbike club rasta bar. Now everything was telling me Sue and Richard will kill me if I go here but I felt drawn by its magic. So off I went and found my friend and took him to the secret street.
I will digress for a moment but come back to this bar. I need to set the atmosphere for the evening now we were both Olga Sick, we haven't had a massive night out for 2 days, we were in Bangkok where the Hangover 2 apparently was filmed so we decided to have a beer and a chat about life since we parted company in August. Now Ben and myself enjoy extreme sports, Ben has done several bungy jumps and I think 7 in one day, he has jumped out of a plane and we dive and I am mental on my voodoo cream so we needed some extreeme sports. NOOOOOOOOOOOO I am not talking about Thai Boxing, anyone can beat someone up in a ring. We are having a night out on the Kao San Road. Take the worst street in your city, the one which sell neon goods, wristbands, punching bart simpsons. Yes my friend we are in Thailands version of Benidorm. The only difference is the Drunk English are buying their sex life from LadyBodys, LadyGirls or anyone who says yes. Now here is our story.
We head to the non motorcycle club rasta bar and ordered out of habit 2 changs. Should we be alarmed that the lady asked what we wanted to smoke with our beers. Ben told her we did not smoke and we only drink changs. This is something you need to be careful of if you smoke non nicotine smokes (luckily we do neither). The Thai police are a little corupt and they ask people to sell drugs to tourists, then they bust the tourist and offer them a night in the Bangkok Hilton or you pay them ASAP/NOW 70000 baht about 1200 pounds. They walk you to the cash machine to get it. Luckily we do not so we do not need to worry.
On the way to our next venue we are asked for the 900th time:
"you like pingpong show" "pop pop"
This is a common question afetr 7pm on this strip of land so tonight when we heard:
looky looky man: "you like pingpong show" "pop pop"
Ben: "No sorry, I don't like sports"
Then after 2 changs we head for dinner number 1 and order a few more changs and listen to live music just off the Koa San Road. The Koa San road is vile so you would be crazy to drinmk there. It is full of european idiots and buckets and kids and it is just gross. Ben and myself are not idiots so we drank in a bar with live music. After x amount of changs we start to talk about getting tatts, living your life to the full and going with the flow. This reminds us of our dear friend Olga who had to go home, Ben and Olga got matching tatooes which say something similar to go with the flow. Throughout the trip if our plans changed we shouted go with the flow and they waves their arms in the air to show the artwork. I am clearly a coward and do not wat a tatoo so we did the next best thing, we drew it on with pen. Of course not the Thai writing, good old fashioned engligh. GO WITH THE FLOW. It was in the same place as there and we went with the flow in celebration of the third component of the shampoo whi was sitting in a cold, wet london :-((((((
Then we got beer hungry and had dinner number 2, followed by a kebab on the way home and somehow I do not know how......we ended up in the bar which sold VERY STRONG BUCKETS for very little bahts and then the party started. We ended up singing, dancing and wearing new wristbands but luckily for us our dancing was outstripped by a russian pair. There is a video but having a few problems uploading.
This made for Dehli Belly this morning X2 and a very eventful cookery lesson. We made 7 dishes and they were delicious, I never want to eat again thou and feel a little fat and sick at the thought. So here we are stuck in an air conditioned internet room avoiding food, changs and party. I guess the statement about being a grown up applies to the UK only and I will start in 2 days.
Wednesday, 4 January 2012
Bangkok is Mental & I love it!!
Today was very sad becasue Olga left us and headed back to the UK. I am very grateful to her for arranging the entire holiday, I had no plan but followed her and saw some beautiful beaches, met great people and managed to have the best dive EVER. We have laughed along the way, usually at other peoples expense but it was fun.
Ben and myself are now left in Bangkok and killing time, money and waist lines until my flight leaves on Sunday. We are staying just off the Kao San Rd and it is mental. Our hotel costs 150baht each (3 pounds) and there is a reason, it is slightly worn at the edges but less than the bed sqaut. It is cleanish but much cleaner than my bed squat and is placed on the noisest street Bangkok has ever seen. Ben awoke at 5am with the nightclub music still going so there is clearly only one option......if you can't beat them, Join them. Bring on the dancing.
We had a reasonably quite night due to us both nursing a 2 day hangover but we managed to fit in a few changs and dinner. The street food here is amazing so we are eating about 5 times a day. There is pad thai, curry, pizza, kebabs, and even Crickets an cockroaches. Yes I can confirm Ben ate the entire Cricket but i just nibbled on his arse. That is the crickets arse not Bens!! It tasted of the seasoning it was covered with and thats all. It was quite dull but I still screamed like a girl and drank gulps of beer afterwards.
I think the cricket has better seasoning than the chickens feet that we ate in Ko Lanta. I have pictures of the evidence and will show you when I am home.
Bangkok is great for people watching, I am not too upset by drunk europeans buying presents for ladyboys who wear their trousers so low you can try to see if they are with banana or without. I have seen two quite attractive straight men pulling ladyboys and I do not understand but it is like Brighton in the end........Everyone is accepted.
Even I am accepted in Brighton and according to a rascist idiot we met from South Africa I look like the sort of person who comes from Brighton. I am unsure if he means I look like a) a social worker
b) a tree hugger
c) a yoga loving veggy
d) a lesbian
e) a gay man (I know I am deep down, I love Kylie and ABBA)
f) a Brompton owner
Answers on a postcard.
Today is our first day of exploring Bangkok, it will be rubbish without Olga and I am sure we will get lost and fat. There is food everywhere I am now wearing my running trousers as I have got too fat for all my clothes.
Hope you are all ok at work today and it is not too rubbish after christmas xxxx
Ben and myself are now left in Bangkok and killing time, money and waist lines until my flight leaves on Sunday. We are staying just off the Kao San Rd and it is mental. Our hotel costs 150baht each (3 pounds) and there is a reason, it is slightly worn at the edges but less than the bed sqaut. It is cleanish but much cleaner than my bed squat and is placed on the noisest street Bangkok has ever seen. Ben awoke at 5am with the nightclub music still going so there is clearly only one option......if you can't beat them, Join them. Bring on the dancing.
We had a reasonably quite night due to us both nursing a 2 day hangover but we managed to fit in a few changs and dinner. The street food here is amazing so we are eating about 5 times a day. There is pad thai, curry, pizza, kebabs, and even Crickets an cockroaches. Yes I can confirm Ben ate the entire Cricket but i just nibbled on his arse. That is the crickets arse not Bens!! It tasted of the seasoning it was covered with and thats all. It was quite dull but I still screamed like a girl and drank gulps of beer afterwards.
I think the cricket has better seasoning than the chickens feet that we ate in Ko Lanta. I have pictures of the evidence and will show you when I am home.
Bangkok is great for people watching, I am not too upset by drunk europeans buying presents for ladyboys who wear their trousers so low you can try to see if they are with banana or without. I have seen two quite attractive straight men pulling ladyboys and I do not understand but it is like Brighton in the end........Everyone is accepted.
Even I am accepted in Brighton and according to a rascist idiot we met from South Africa I look like the sort of person who comes from Brighton. I am unsure if he means I look like a) a social worker
b) a tree hugger
c) a yoga loving veggy
d) a lesbian
e) a gay man (I know I am deep down, I love Kylie and ABBA)
f) a Brompton owner
Answers on a postcard.
Today is our first day of exploring Bangkok, it will be rubbish without Olga and I am sure we will get lost and fat. There is food everywhere I am now wearing my running trousers as I have got too fat for all my clothes.
Hope you are all ok at work today and it is not too rubbish after christmas xxxx
Tuesday, 3 January 2012
Thai Torture
Yesterday we needed to travel to Bangkok. This was slightly stressful because Olga must fly, she had already bought 1 more flight and extended her trip so she must fly. There was only 1 option the VIP bus. We knew it would take 16 hours but how hard can it be as a VIP. We left Ko Muk on the way to Trang, I got wiped out by a wave and got soaked on the way to the boat. Ben was still smashed on the boat, he provided all our entertainment. What with him singing "don't need a tucktuck tonight", wearing a life vest for the reason which escapes me. Drawing attention to the swedish guys pants being inside out and almost changing someone top to add a P to his star we finally made it to trang on our speedy boat.
We killed 5 hours in Trang, eating, drinking smoothies & trying to get rid of our hangovers. Once at the bus terminal it goes crazy!!! We are island people, we were not used to the chaos and noise. We spotted the VIP bus it had sofas, we were all prepared for a lie down on the sofa & a quiet bus trip but oh nooooooooo!
That was never going to happen.
First: we didn't get a sofa, we got a normal seat
Second: mine was double booked So they took me downstairs to find another one. There was no joy and I was back upstairs.
Then the bus goes......result. I settle into my chair, pull up a blanket and shut my eyes fir 20 seconds when they start the stand up comedy DVD!!
It would be funny but it was obviously in Thai. So it is a man shouting Thai and we have no idea what he is saying. This goes for hours. Eventually it stops and Thailands version of noels house party starts. I thought I would die whilst watching crazy people trying to kick a football so their screaming mate didn't get covered in icing sugar.
Luckily the noise stops & we get some sleep. When we wake it's to a love easy listening
cd.....which you guessed it. More Thai shouting. I have come to realise it's a very loud language. The cd was like finger nails down a chalk board. We eventually arrived in Bangkok
& we found a peaceful cafe. This is where you will find me when I need to escape the rat race.
We killed 5 hours in Trang, eating, drinking smoothies & trying to get rid of our hangovers. Once at the bus terminal it goes crazy!!! We are island people, we were not used to the chaos and noise. We spotted the VIP bus it had sofas, we were all prepared for a lie down on the sofa & a quiet bus trip but oh nooooooooo!
That was never going to happen.
First: we didn't get a sofa, we got a normal seat
Second: mine was double booked So they took me downstairs to find another one. There was no joy and I was back upstairs.
Then the bus goes......result. I settle into my chair, pull up a blanket and shut my eyes fir 20 seconds when they start the stand up comedy DVD!!
It would be funny but it was obviously in Thai. So it is a man shouting Thai and we have no idea what he is saying. This goes for hours. Eventually it stops and Thailands version of noels house party starts. I thought I would die whilst watching crazy people trying to kick a football so their screaming mate didn't get covered in icing sugar.
Luckily the noise stops & we get some sleep. When we wake it's to a love easy listening
cd.....which you guessed it. More Thai shouting. I have come to realise it's a very loud language. The cd was like finger nails down a chalk board. We eventually arrived in Bangkok
& we found a peaceful cafe. This is where you will find me when I need to escape the rat race.
Monday, 2 January 2012
Would You Believe it?
Here I was finally asleep on my big rocking sofa in a cafe in Trang. When I say asleep I mean dead to the world. It was heaven......until I here.
"alrite Olga [calm down, calm down]. How's longs use in trang 4? Oh us 2, that's like totally boss like!! Can't believe youre here too like. Where's Gill like.....calm down, calm down. The noise goes through my heart like a drill, I know it's soft lad & his dippy tart.
Now what would you do in this situation? Just lie down, pretend to be asleep & wait for the moment to pass. I can't believe it. What's worse is they got tickets on the over night sleeper & we are on the chuffing bus. How is this fair?
At the moment Olga has abandoned us. I'm asleep on a chair, Ben is passed out on the floor & these amazing Thai people are looking after us. I'm now laughing so hard at the stories from last night. I met a great English Couple & we were talking about our scouse friends. I had to tell them the best story.
Shaun: "Olga! There is a programme in England that you don't watch because you go to work!"
My head: [like normal people]
Olga: "reeeeaaaallly?"
Shaun: "it's called Jeremy Kyle. It's about people who cheat on each other"
My head: [like you claim your wife did 2 days ago]
Olga: "I don't own a Telly" (knew I loved her for a reason)
Shaun: " they make the do lie detector tests & usually beat each other up"
My Head: [like you did to
Joanne on boxing day.....knew it was called boxing day for a reason]. Why have soaps when you can listen to these chavs. Ok off to sleep again. Only 3 hours till we board the bus.
"alrite Olga [calm down, calm down]. How's longs use in trang 4? Oh us 2, that's like totally boss like!! Can't believe youre here too like. Where's Gill like.....calm down, calm down. The noise goes through my heart like a drill, I know it's soft lad & his dippy tart.
Now what would you do in this situation? Just lie down, pretend to be asleep & wait for the moment to pass. I can't believe it. What's worse is they got tickets on the over night sleeper & we are on the chuffing bus. How is this fair?
At the moment Olga has abandoned us. I'm asleep on a chair, Ben is passed out on the floor & these amazing Thai people are looking after us. I'm now laughing so hard at the stories from last night. I met a great English Couple & we were talking about our scouse friends. I had to tell them the best story.
Shaun: "Olga! There is a programme in England that you don't watch because you go to work!"
My head: [like normal people]
Olga: "reeeeaaaallly?"
Shaun: "it's called Jeremy Kyle. It's about people who cheat on each other"
My head: [like you claim your wife did 2 days ago]
Olga: "I don't own a Telly" (knew I loved her for a reason)
Shaun: " they make the do lie detector tests & usually beat each other up"
My Head: [like you did to
Joanne on boxing day.....knew it was called boxing day for a reason]. Why have soaps when you can listen to these chavs. Ok off to sleep again. Only 3 hours till we board the bus.
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